More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My soul is invisible, like an anorexic’s dinner, but it sure enhances how I feel about my body."
"A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one."
"I am a fisherman among farmers, and as a farmer what I grow is tired of waiting for her to love me."
"Tweeting is talking into the abyss, filling a void in your life by avoiding real human contact."
"I’m an all-the-water-I-can-drink-in-a-flower-vase kind of lover. Roses and batteries sold separately."