"We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling."
"I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time."What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body?"
"I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed."
"My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns."
"We had a blast at my magical birthday party. There were midgets, fairies, glass slippers, and I actually got to ride in a pumpkin."
"Every night I sleep like a log. In a lit fireplace. If you bring the marshmallows, I’ll bring the burning desire for you."