More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."
"My coffee cup is empty. Why don't you pour your love in and wake up my soul?"
"When tragedy hits close to home, like your neighbor’s house, it really makes you stop and think. And while you’re thinking, I’ll be speeding off in the getaway car."
"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."
"Knocking on a door is so violent. Talk on the door. Try to get it to open up through communication, not violence."