"What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two."
"Half-assing it twice isn’t giving it 100%, but both can be yours for the one-time low-price of half off. Also on SALE now: My love. Order yours today."
"The strands of DNA are like strings, and it’s as if I am a walking guitar, a musical being whose vibration can be heard as love."
"I’m so shy I make Bigfoot look like a socialite. Networking’s not a mystery to me—but I’m mythical to networking."
"How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today is a clone of the you from yesterday."
"I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry."