More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"I’ve got a nice racket going. I make tennis ball swatters. My favorite score is love all. That’s also how I live my life."
"I restrain myself from following orders—especially restraining orders. I’d like to remind my dad that my love is longer than 500 feet."
"She’s ignoring my texts. Maybe she’s dead. Oh, I certainly hope so. I’d hate to think she’s being deliberately unresponsive."
"My I love you was a measured response, like one gallon of coffee in one cup of sugar. It was just overflowing with an awakening of my soul."