On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definite... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
"On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57."
"On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definitely a 57."
"The Book of Life, I’m still writing it—both literally and literarily. So far I’ve written the Table of Contents. Right now it’s more of a coffee table."
"I like knocking on strangers’ doors, and when they answer and say hello, I respond, “I have returned, as prophesied.” Then I just stand there staring at them."
"Great earrings would be little speakers, so she can hear better. Or maybe she just wasn’t listening all those times I told her I loved her."
"I don’t know what I’ll do until I know what you’ll do. I’m proactive with my preemptive reactive strategy."
"I’m hard to love, but I love hard, like my heart is the sun yearning to tan your naked body. I promise I won’t burn you."