On the scale of tomato to ketchup, my girlfriend is definite... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, and you’ll wake the whole trailer park."

"I lost interest in her because she said the wrong thing. She said nothing."

"To wait on love is to tie a weight on your heart and slowly drown. Why sink when you can fly by freely giving love away?"

"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."

"Love isn’t in a hurry like a flurry of flowery words on paper. It’s lush and slow to grow its aroma in the garden of time."