#paraphrased

"I have something that I call my Golden Rule. It goes something like this: 'Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you.' … The twenty-five percent is for error."

"What doesn't kill us makes us funnier."

"Do you hate people?”“I don't hate them...I just feel better when they're not around."

"What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell."

"I'm trying to undermine the basis of Christian belief... I'm not in the business of offending people. I find the books upholding certain values that I think are important, such as life is immensely valuable and this world is an extraordinarily beautiful place. We should do what we can to increase the amount of wisdom in the world.[Washington Post interview, 19 February 2001]"

"Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar."

"If the bee disappeared off the face of the earth, man would only have four years left to live."

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."

"Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

"Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love."

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

"All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let's get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States -- and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!"

"I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world."

"Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them."

"Everything must be made as simple as possible. But not simpler."

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

"Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources"

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."