#humour

"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."

"Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to."

"Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand."

"FEAR stands for fuck everything and run."

"Darling, when things go wrong in life, you lift your chin, put on a ravishing smile, mix yourself a little cocktail..."

"V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love."

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

"If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out."

"Look!"said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!"

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

"On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time."

"...There are too many idiots in this world. And having said it, I have the burden of proving it."

"What ho!"I said."What ho!"said Motty."What ho! What ho!""What ho! What ho! What ho!"After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation."

"Hello, Harry"said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones.""You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out,"said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

"Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it."

"When I touched her body,I believed she was God.In the curves of her formI found the birth of Man,the creation of the world,and the origin of all life."

"If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."

"When I was your age, television was called books."

"Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don't want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled."

"Learn to drive?""Never,"said Quentin. "My mission in life is to be a passenger."