More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"If you’re going to hang around and watch me write, you might as well have a noose around your neck. Would you mind if I kicked the chair out from under your feet? You’re standing on my only place to sit."
"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."
"My love has a flow like a flower, so it’s best if you water it with the fragrance of romance, which has the aroma of loyalty."
"She brews a bruise on my heart, and drinks it like a beer. She calls it love, but she would, because she’s drunk on my torment."
"I used to think how lucky she was to have me, but now I realize that’s backwards. A spirit of gratitude yields patience, love, and forgiveness."