More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice."
"As an author, I like self-help, because clapping can be done by myself, for myself. I should buy gloves."
"Instead of a vow of silence, I took a vow of invisibility. At that time you were looking for someone to love, and that’s why you couldn’t see me."
"If I waste all my charity, all I’ll wind up with in the end is the wind. Still, I think I want to be the Dandelion of Love."
"I’ll cut jewels in the shape of crumpled-up pieces of paper. Her wedding ring may look like my 33rd attempt at my marriage vows."