"This Valentine’s Day rent a poem for your loved. They come in three sizes—small, medium, and romantic. Free refills available to Premium Members."
"Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by."
"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"
"I’m just going to keep plugging away until I find success—or an electrical socket that works. This is the secret to gaining worldly power."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"I just bought a bag of poetry, but it was mostly air. The author must have learned from the potato chip industry."