"A follow-up letter is best when not written on the back of a suicide note. Remember this next time you’re at a networking event, unless your new connection is a mortician."
"A relationship is a sales process, and sometimes you must buy to sell, and when you sell it is to the benefit of both of you."
"I’ll stand by you. And by stand I mean cower in your shadow. It’s probably cold there, so I’m going to knit myself a warm cat sweater to wear."
"One in four people have a mental illness. You can be the one to make it two in four, if you’ll join me for a dance."
"I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time."What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body?"
"Water is translucent, but not invisible. But a glass half full is half translucent, half invisible, and you cannot drink what you cannot see, which may be why I am so thirsty for her love."