"A lot of people go searching for “Truth.” But they can’t be searching too hard, because very few of them ever think to look under my bed."
"The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago."
"I make art for one person and one person only. And as soon as I find that one person, I sure hope he has a lot of wall space, because he’ll be getting a lot of art from me."
"It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon, which is well before any “successful” person even thinks of going to bed."
"I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size,"and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"