"It’s been said that the most successful people are often early risers. So that’s why I started getting up in the afternoon, which is well before any “successful” person even thinks of going to bed."
"A lot of people go searching for “Truth.” But they can’t be searching too hard, because very few of them ever think to look under my bed."
"My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents."
"I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited."
"There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t"
"My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents."