"A slinky is a toy made for stairs, but that’s entirely too tiresome. What about a toy for escalators that doesn’t move and does nothing and that’s the whole point? I think Americans would relate to and embrace that mentality."
"I have a doctorate degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I studied door-to-door salesmanship. This was before the doorbell was invented."
"Let me just pause a minute and drink in this moment. And if you film it, I’ll be able to get free refills for life."
"Instead of a vow of silence, I took a vow of invisibility. At that time you were looking for someone to love, and that’s why you couldn’t see me."
"You are not your body. You are the sum of all your actions, and they live on after your body dies. You may be mortal, but your brand is eternal."
"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."