More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When you’re embarrassed, you turn red. When I blush, I turn plaid. I network at kilt conventions, so even if I say something awkward I still look cool."
"75% of my life is spent wasting time. The other 25% isn’t nearly as productive."
"I want a moon canoe, because have you ever tried paddling through dirt? Love is a journey, and I try to travel as efficiently as I can."
"I make furniture that can be used as weapons. The most dangerous piece of furniture is the Loveseat."
"Apparently I’m transparent—with my feelings, not with my body. I’m an emotional ghost, and if you can’t see my love for you it’s because it’s dead."