More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I wear gloves, because I don’t want to tease people with my naked body. I’ve got to leave something to the imagination."
"I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated."
"I slept through the award presentation for Napper of the Year. They had to wake me when I won. Winning was like a dream come true."
"I buried the lasagna, because it was better than disposing of a dead body. I’ve been burned in a relationship, but never in an oven. I’ll try harder."
"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."