More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Personal branding is important to me as a person. It’s also important to me as a non-person. I am a rock."
"When I lost her I gained the future, because she was my past, and she freed me to become who I was born to be."
"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one."
"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."