All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we... - Woody Allen

"Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!"

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"I read in self-defense."

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."

"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."