Woody Allen

"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."

"You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ."

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness."

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to."

"I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic."

"The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope."

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic."

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."

"I read in self-defense."

"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland."

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."