Woody Allen

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic."

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

"The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it."

"Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."

"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."

"You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ."

"Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic."

"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."

"If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse."

"Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!"

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

"God is silent. Now if only man would shut up."

"I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."