"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."
"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"As a sculptor, I prefer busts. As a lover of women, I prefer busts. And as a football enthusiast, I prefer Robert Griffin III."
"I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning."
"I’d rather sell one thing for one million dollars, than sell one million things for one dollar each. I feel the same about my love and women."
"I’m a little more reserved in person than people expect. But I warm up quickly, like leftovers. Meatloaf, anyone?"