"Anything disguised as anything is chameleon. A ghost disguised as an unobservable and invisible object is a great example. Still, that’s easier to see than the love my ex wife had for me."
"The memory of her love shimmers the way white light ripples gently on the midnight river, and I am currently thirsting to swim in the current that will flow downstream into her wading and waiting arms."
"Either I will love you, or I will love you if and only if you love me in return. I prefer the former."
"I fight like a rocking chair in a boxing ring. That’s also how I make love. I should probably sell popcorn at my shows to boost revenue."
"Unreturned love is like trying to make a sandwich with one slice of bread. Don’t stress—fold it in half and love yourself."
"To attract a lover, you need to craft the perfect Craigslist ad. Here’s mine: Free TV with purchase of potato chips and couch."