"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"Most scars are invisible. Damn transparent knives. Does anything cut deeper than love? I need to get some new body armor."
"Are you tired, irritable, or suffering from heartburn? Ask your doctor if my love is right for you. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 9 out of 10 is 90%."
"The curve of her smile, the curve of the small of her back, the curve of her laugh, everything about her makes me want to be more well-rounded."
"I’m so shy that if you played “Guess The Mannequin” with me and two mannequins, you’d pick me, because I’m the quiet one. Still, it’s important for me to get out and meet people, even if that means hanging around department stores wearing the latest fashions."
"Working in the hotel business I have learned a lot about people. It’s amazing what you can discover about someone by watching them when they don’t know you are watching, especially if they are asleep."