More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there."
"Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers."
"In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two."
"There is life, and there is death, and in between there is me. Please don’t wake me up."
"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."