More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"I fell in love with her the moment she was late, though neither one of us knew it at the time because she hadn’t arrived yet."
"She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream."
"One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind."
"I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less."