More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up."
"My name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time."
"With six pieces of wood, I’m building a life, and my coffin."