More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."
"Pluto will always be a planet in my book. That’s because my book was published before Pluto was blacklisted by planetary scientists."
"I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral."
"He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van and I’m going home.” I was just a kid, too. But I cared. With him gone, who was I going to play Plato and Socrates with?"
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."