More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."
"Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics. But then I changed my mind, once I found out how expensive the tickets are."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there."
"Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them."