More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography."
"Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom."
"I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral."
"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."
"Are you an Is there? or a There isn’t! kind of person? I’m more of an Is there isn’t? kind of guy."