"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."
"There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99."
"0 plus 100 equals 100. But so does 50 plus 50, only with more balance. Let this be a lesson in love."
"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and green. There’s no depression or envy when both blur into one."
"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."