"His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I wondered how this stranger could shake my hand, look me in the eye, smile, and expect me to believe such a bold-faced lie?"
"Love may make you feel blue, love may make you feel green, and sometimes love may even make you feel turquoise or teal. Depression and envy get all the pretty shades of description, and I love that, but in a pink/purple kind of way."
"I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make love, and that is why I am the Director of Redundancy."
"The harmonica has musical wind, and is the breath of soul. It’s like a sad, lonely I love you lost in the breeze."
"If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free."
"The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt."