Our love will blend together like turquoise is blue and gree... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Let’s do a 50-50 deal, with me getting 75% of the profits, and you getting the other half. That’s how we can both get the most value out of a relationship."

"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."

"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."

"Only a fool would say they’re not a fool. Well, I am not a fool, which is why I say I am a fool."

"0 plus 100 equals 100. But so does 50 plus 50, only with more balance. Let this be a lesson in love."