"Both of the items were used in an attempted murder, but hers was a dagger, and mine was a baby’s rubber bottle nipple. That was the last time I took a stab at love."
"Reading makes you ready for the world. A man who doesn’t read is a man who is easily deceived. You must find that man and make him sign a contract, and you must do it before Satan does. Trust me, the profits are HUGE!"
"Every day I think today could be my last day. My only fear is dying without telling her I love her one more time. All I pray for is one more time."
"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."
"When she’s cuddled close, I feel there’s nothing I can’t do, and I can’t do nothing about it, because my heart is her heart for as long as she wants it."
"If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago."