But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as... - J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

"Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure."

"Would you like a cough drop Dolores?"

"I am not forgotten, you know, no, I still receive a very great deal of fan mail.. . . Gladys Gudgeon writes weekly. . . . I just wish I knew why. . . .”He paused, looking faintly puzzled, then beamed again and returned to his signing with renewed vigor. “I suspect it is simply my good looks. . . ."

"My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities...like the ability to behave myself."

"Did you see me disarm Hermione, Harry?""Only once"said Hermione stung. "I got you loads more then you got me—""I did not only get you once, I got you at least three times—""Well if you're counting the one where you tripped over your own feet and knocked the wand out of my hand—"