More quotes by David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

"The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate."
"Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character."
"The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate."
"I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally."
"When asked "What do we need to learn this for?"any high-school teacher can confidently answer that, regardless of the subject, the knowledge will come in handy once the student hits middle age and starts working crossword puzzles in order to stave off the terrible loneliness."