More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I sell soap. Buy two bars and get a FREE shower. (Water not included.) Act within the next 15 minutes and I’ll even throw in the towel. I quit!"
"She cuts me deep with her words, with her withholding of words, and with her knife. I’m not sure which is the most painful."
"I dance so fluid you’d think I’m a fish. I don’t need to drink to be able to dance—I am the drink. Have a sip and find out for yourself."
"Wisdom is knowing when you are being patient, and when you are wasting time by waiting."
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."