More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Dinner was a riot, but the food was bland, so I doused it with pepper spray. The chef wanted to protest, but he didn’t, because I had the pepper spray."
"A raisin on the ground is full of hope that if it just keeps aging, it will turn into wine and get drunk on its wrinkly self."
"We had a whirlwind romance. That’s what happens when you date a tornado. Hold on, I have to stop tweeting for a bit because Kansas keeps calling."
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."
"What is the shape of love? Is it shaped like you? For me it is, but for you maybe it is shaped like me."