Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her sc... - Mark Twain

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"Familiarity breeds contempt and children."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect)."