Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her sc... - Mark Twain

"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn."

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."