Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind... - Mark Twain

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."

"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."

"The secret to getting ahead is getting started."

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."