Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind... - Mark Twain

"The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies."

"Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day."

"Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident."

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."