I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billio... - Mark Twain

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke."

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."

"Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation."

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."