"Dude, I don’t want to talk about Lacey’s prom shoes. And I’ll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It’s called a penis."
"Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old."
"Was it animal pee or human pee? Someone asked.How would I know? What, am I an expert in the study of pee?"
"Imagine others complexly."
"I always felt like you had to be important to have enemies."
"Poetry is just so emo."he said. "Oh, the pain. The pain. It always rains. In my soul."