"pg. 231-232: They'd given me a minivan. They could have picked any car and they picked a minivan. A minivan. O God of the Vehicular Justice, why dost thou mock me? Minivan, you albatross around my neck! You mark of Cain! You wretched beast high ceilings and few horsepower!"
"I didn’t need you, you idiot. I picked you. And then you picked me back."
"What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person."
"It is easy to forget how full the world is of people, full to bursting, and each of them imaginable and consistently misimagined."
"As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly."
"Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old."