Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who... - Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

"Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work."

"Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others."

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."

"Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based."