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Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

14 quotes

Quotes by Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

"Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work."
"Religion, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."
"HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There arefour kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, andpraiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slainwhether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is foradvantage of the lawyers."
"Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."
"Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based."
"Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it."
"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."