More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My handshake is as firm as cooked spaghetti. So, do you prefer your introductions with Alfredo or marinara sauce?"
"I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin."
"I sip my coffee like I fall in love—alone in a field of flowers, writing poetry for the mailman, who delivers love letters, but never gets any."
"Some people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time."
"I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time."What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body?"