"I sip my coffee like I fall in love—alone in a field of flowers, writing poetry for the mailman, who delivers love letters, but never gets any."
"The roses of romance grow when you water your relationship with gratitude. Love will bloom and blossom when you recognize the awesome."
"I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills."
"The middle finger is a great body language tool for letting people know you’re upset. Poetry isn’t quite as effective in a fit of road rage."
"Once a Ponce a time she made me feel like a conquistador. Now her memory is just a breeze seen in swaying Spanish moss."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."