My handshake is as firm as cooked spaghetti. So, do you pref... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’d row a gondola like a column is not a row. My coffee may be cold, but my love is warm. When are you going to wake up and drink it?"

"My cup is full of air. I should empty it and fill it with love. Or coffee, as the two are synonymous to me."

"The harmonica has musical wind, and is the breath of soul. It’s like a sad, lonely I love you lost in the breeze."

"To show you I love you, I bought you an antique watch. You can tell it's old because it doesn't even work. I got a great deal on it."

"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."