"Her love was too cold, like an anti-oven. That's called a freezer, and sometimes it burns food. She gave me heartburn, just like coffee, and it really woke me up to the reality of relationships."
"My writing has appeared in the New Yorker and The Atlantic Monthly, though whenever the newsstand guy catches me scribbling my poetry in them, he always comes along later and erases it."
"I wish I could grow swords like I can roses. Wouldn’t war be so romantic then? Then the U.S. could really show the world how much it loves it."
"She moves through my memory the way the gentle river waves turn the setting sun's rays into a nostalgic light show."
"Wherever there’s a gathering of people, there is networking going on. My favorite place to network is the cemetery."
"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."