More quotes by Mark Twain

"Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation."
"Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever."
"Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
"I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone."
"A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat."