Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union... - Mark Twain

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell together, as quickly as possible."