More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."
"If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping."
"You wash the horse, and I’ll wash the horse trainer. Then we’ll wash the dishes while we gallop into the sunset like two dirty lovers."
"You used to love me. Let me help jog your memory by buying you some running shoes. The shoes will be wooden, and nailed to the floor."
"If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight?"