"I am so extreme that I do parkour like a caterpillar gyrates. My movements are slow and methodical, but eventually my free running takes flight. I love the same exact way, and my romance has the essence of a butterfly."
"In these modern times, the only sensible thing to be is nonsensical."
"William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit?"
"When I was young, I was 13 going on 31. Then when I was 30 going on 31, I was 30 going on 29. Now I’m in love and I’ve lost all sense of time—and all the rest of my sense."
"Different people have different ideas. We need to kill them—the ideas, not the people. The people we just need to torture."
"She asked me how I slept. Knowing she meant quality of sleep, I said I slept naked. It’s true. Ask any of the joggers who saw me sleepwalking."