A tornado is the ultimate coffee grinder. Just add water, an... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"30% of the time I am successful 70% of the time. That’s 100% in my book—a book that happens to have a page count that’s 21% Reduced Fat."

"Apparently I’m transparent—with my feelings, not with my body. I’m an emotional ghost, and if you can’t see my love for you it’s because it’s dead."

"Wisdom is knowing when you are being patient, and when you are wasting time by waiting."

"Love burns. Whiskey burns. George Burns. What do all three have in common? They’re all dead to me."

"I match my pajamas to my comforter so I can disappear into sleep. I’m camouflaged into noonexistence, where I don’t wake up until 12:00 PM."